My personal journey of how I got where I am today.
“Your dark side strengths, weaknesses and passions are evaluated. Your commitment to the Sith Path is tested. You begin to create your Sith persona and learn about Sith ideology.”
From a young age, I have always been a person of isolation. I never liked people, never liked to be around people. I always kept to myself. Most people had found that strange. I had become someone who was in the background, I kept quiet, I observed people. I learned to read people, their intentions, their potential actions. If they were being honest or not. If ever the need arose I was one who whispered in the ears of another, guiding a person’s actions with my suggestive tone then gone again.
Later in life I had boasted about having a high pain tolerance, and I showed the proof of it as well. With my nature as uncaring as it was, I didn’t believe I was going to go far with being as I was. I decided to change myself for what I believed was to be the better, instead I only found myself getting weaker. Weakened by my own stupidity I fell from who I once was. I was unable to control my anger, my irritation my emotions. I no longer had control of myself. I was not who I once was. I had felt myself weakening, physically and mentally. It was quite a pathetic thing. To feel it, and not know what to do to counter such a thing.
It was then that I began to search, an inspiration outside, to inspire me from within. For a time, I had found it, however it did not feel quite right. So my searched had continued, through the search I may not have found what felt right, however I did begin to grow more powerful. I got in touch with my higher consciousness, yet I still hadn’t been satisfied, I looked to grow more powerful, I had found a place. A dark place, this place had techniques I could use, to empower myself even further. I felt comfortable here, I felt myself. I felt as strong as I had when I was isolated from everyone. Even this power was not enough, I had to get more. I had to become fully at one with my whole self, and I had practiced, for many days astral projection among other techniques of meditation and yoga all while incubating the darkness within me.
I discovered another dark power, one that took me on the path I am on now. Without this dark power entering into my life I would not consider myself Sith. I wouldn’t even consider calling myself such a thing. Within this entity I took on training, I became an Apprentice to a great Dark Lord, and a very inspirational teacher. It was he who guided me to cultivate myself as Sith, under his tutelage I felt my abilities grow. I undertook different names, different identities under my Master each one, each phase growing stronger and stronger. Without my Master I would not have learned things necessary to help me grow at as fast a rate as I was growing. I had learned many things, from new forms of yoga, to new meditation techniques. I was inspired to read particular writings on individuals which held great power in their lifetime, to learn from them. To understand the meaning behind their success and power. However, on my constant never ending attitude to learn more, too quickly I had bypassed particular bases within their system. I worked on what I needed to and was too eager to learn the next teaching. It proved to be a horrible base, one that became yet another downfall. At this time, I was too fickle in many of my decisions, in my choices. And with uncertainty came an expected outcome.
Yet again, life pulled me away from this path. Swayed by empty promises, I began to weaken again, I lost all inspiration from myself, and as that began to dwindle so too did my power, and my connection with the force. I barely managed to hold a fraction of the power and abilities I once had, they were dimming with each passing week. It was there that I showed signs of weakness, I knew myself, I understood myself, I had tried to attain something that was not necessary for me to be successful, it was wishful thinking and a pipe dream. I began to slow down on many things, many efforts that I had made, were slowed to a point of rest, I lost motivation, I lost in a sense, my will to live and survive. I did not find many things enjoyable, I only focused on the empty promise, and that consumed me, it became my weakness for without it I felt like I was nothing. Looking back on it, I hold animosity towards such feelings that I once held, it was pathetic. I was a fool to fall so low and not see through it, see through how I was slowly attending my own funeral, for the man that once was there was but a shadow of what it was. It wasn’t until my dream was shattered and revealed as a lie that I began to realize the foolish path I had taken, one that I have held regret for. However, I do not feel such regret any longer. It had done something to me, all at once it broke me and strengthened something within me. For a time I could not perceive the benefit of all that had transpired in the moments to come to that dream’s demise. This dream, made me slither into the depths of what could have been greatness.
It wasn’t until recently that fate had a hand in giving me another opportunity to regain my power. I had been shown back into the darkness, the force was guiding me, giving me my redemption and to recultivate this dark force I have within me. I will not squander this fortunate and prospective opportunity. I have been given a new name, and the dark force within me, is beginning to make it’s presence known, as I continue to feed it, that power grows as does my strength both physically and mentally. It is this dark power, the dark power and my earthly being they are connected as one. And with the completion of the first part of my training I have learned to shed off any weakness that remained. I am growing stronger every day, my sensing capabilities are returning to me, stronger than I have had them in so long. Each day that passes, I am more sure of myself and my passions. Nothing will stop me from achieving my grab at power, at success. To make a legacy. Every moment that passes, I bide my time. Strengthening myself until I am ready for the world to know me, to truly know me, and what I am capable of. I have returned to the Sith Path, and I strive to become a Dark Lord, and I will remain loyal always. I will not stray from this path again for this path is who I am. Pain has been my teacher, the lessons it taught me were many, but they made me stronger, and I will continue to learn from as pain is eternal. So too, is my soul. And I strive to make my legacy as such as well. I will be honest, I thought I was progressing well in my training. however with the time that I had put in, I assumed it was enough to progress me far. I had only just realized, with the words of my Master, that I had only just completed the first step in becoming a dark lord, and that first step happens to be Echelon 1. The phase of evaluation. It just comes to show, no matter how far you think you have come, there is still so much more to go. To drive you ever forward towards reaching the ultimate goal. I intend to complete my training, and I will do so with dedication, and work harder than I ever have before to reach total endarkenment.
Pain is by no means anything bad. It teaches many things, and one can learn to conquer such pain and use it to your advantage.